- (of a plant or flower) Having a pistil but no stamens
- Relating to or characteristic of women or female animals
- an animal that produces gametes (ova) that can be fertilized by male gametes (spermatozoa)
- being the sex (of plant or animal) that produces fertilizable gametes (ova) from which offspring develop; “a female heir”; “female holly trees bear the berries”
- Of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) that can be fertilized by male gametes
- characteristic of or peculiar to a woman; “female sensitiveness”; “female suffrage”
- A person who gives advice or makes improvements
- A qualified practitioner of medicine; a physician
- sophisticate: alter and make impure, as with the intention to deceive; “Sophisticate rose water with geraniol”
- a licensed medical practitioner; “I felt so bad I went to see my doctor”
- A qualified dentist or veterinary surgeon
- give medical treatment to
- conduit consisting of a long hollow object (usually cylindrical) used to hold and conduct objects or liquids or gases
- provide with a tube or insert a tube into
- convey in a tube; “inside Paris, they used to tube mail”
- The inner tube of a bicycle tire
- A long, hollow cylinder of metal, plastic, glass, etc., for holding or transporting something, chiefly liquids or gases
- Material in such a cylindrical form; tubing
"First is a crackle of static, then a woman’s loud voice, saying, “Good news, girlfriend.” Coming out of the little wire-mesh speaker, it’s Shirlee, the night guard, her voice saying, “Chances look go
“My grandma made money,” Miss Sneezy says, “by saying ‘I Love You.’”
As many ways as possible. For people who could not.
Miss Sneezy onstage, the cuffs of her sweater sleeves sprout the scraps and ruffles of dirty tissues stuffed there.
Those tissues, yellow and matted with nasal discharge.
Her nose running, bright with snot and blood, and her eyes busy with red lightning and watering down each cheek.
Onstage, instead of a spotlight, a movie fragment: a scene from some medical drama, showing doctors and hospital staff in white coats, holding test tubes, busy finding a cure.
Between sniffing her nose and coughing, Miss Sneezy says, “Until she died, my grandma made money saying ‘Happy Birthday’ for people.”
Saying, “Deepest Sympathy.”
Saying, “Congratulations.” And “We’re so Proud of You!”
And “Merry Christmas.”
As many ways as possible, her grandma said, “Happy Anniversary.”
“Happy Father’s Day”
and “Happy Mother’s Day”
for a greeting-card company.
Between blowing her nose and stuffing the tissue back into her sleeve, Miss Sneezy says,
“My grandma’s job was to interpret what other people had no words to say.”
But every “Happy Birthday,” really, every card, she wrote with Miss Sneezy in mind.
Her grandma’s ideal target audience.
And the card rack is her bank account, her left-behind trust fund of future best wishes for her granddaughter.
So, after she was dead, her Miss Sneezy could come and find the right “I Love You” or “Happy Valentine’s” for that moment of the distant future.
Long, long after her grandma was dead.
“Still,” Miss Sneezy says, “there’s one card, one special occasion she never covered.”
There needs to be a card that says: I’m sorry.
Please, forgive me.
I didn’t mean to kill you.
Exerpted from Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk
Haunted is a 2005 novel by Chuck Palahniuk. The plot is a frame story for a series of 23 short stories, most preceded by a free verse poem. Each story is followed by a chapter of the main narrative, is told by a character in main narrative, and ties back into the main story in some way. I have decided to make a series of portraits of each of the 19 characters in this book. The title quote is the first line of each character’s story and the description is each character’s poem. The portraits are my personal interpretation to the words of the book.
Isolated scientist woman in lab coat with chemical glassware.